Holding on just a little longer


I sort of feel like this poor sap right now.  I’m trying to waterski but can’t get up.  I also refuse to let go of the rope, so the boat keeps dragging me.  I’m not letting go even though I know there is no way from this position to pop up on my skis.  So I will just enjoy the oxygen-less ride under a foot of water a little longer until the boat driver cuts the engine.  

I finished my 30th session of radiation today!  That was originally my full dosage but about half way through treatment when they determined my cancer was not acting right they increased me to 33.  Only.  Three. More.


You’ll notice that my skin is very dark around my mouth and cheeks.  It’s like that all the way down my neck and to my clavicle too.  The radiation essentially sunburns you on both the outside and inside of any area it is shot at.  

This past week I was left with only a very scratchy, whispery voice.  It hurts to talk so I did very little of it this week except for one night when I met with friends that I made in Puerto Rico that were in town.  

The mouth sores are everywhere so I typically have a mouth full of pebble ice that helps numb and cool an otherwise painful region.  The throat has been too sore to swallow anything other than water / melted ice and even that now has become a challenge.  I’m on several different pain meds that help quite a bit, but each come with various levels of side effects that render me pretty useless outside of my recliner.  

The weight has stayed pretty consistent now for the past week between 163 and 166.   The feeding tube isn’t helping me put on weight but has definitely helped me stabilize.  

The kids come up to my room each night and sing to me and say their prayers with me.  They have been so sweet and strong through this whole thing.  

Lastly, while I can’t eat or drink I still crave lots of things.  I made list of all the stuff I will plan to eat when my mouth is in shape.  Ice cold anything sounds good all the time!  Even just the smells of certain things have been really “appetizing” so a few times this week I’ve cracked open a vanilla root beer and just smelled it over the course of an hour.  

So I’m basically in survival mode. A few more days. Get through it. Doesn’t have to be pretty.  Find ways to help the time pass quickly.

Thank you fsir the continued prayers, notes of encouragement, etc that always seem to brighten my day.  We got this.  Home stretch.  

9 thoughts on “Holding on just a little longer”

  1. Dear Jarem, it is heart breaking to hear what you are going through. Oh that we could all chip in and take our share of all this pain and suffering for you. I hope this time will fly by as quickly as possible and that your treatments will do exactly what it is suppose to do. This past week we were able to get together with your family in Rocky Pointe just like old times. It was so wonderful to see them . It brought back so many wonderful memories of trips taken with your family. Jarem, hang in there, we love you and want to see you beat this! Love you and your beautiful family,

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  2. Jarem, Thank you for letting us all know how you are doing. We pray for you each day. Hang in there. Hugs to Camilla and kiddies as well!

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  3. Jarem Curtis! Sure love ya buddy. I’ve run into your parents a couple times in STG and they mention what an example and inspiration you are and I can’t help but feel the same.

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  4. Hi Jarem , You are truly an inspiration…and those precious children are so lucky to have such a remarkable father….they are just beautiful. Always in my thoughts and prayers ……Cindy

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  5. You got this Jarem!! I could never have expected how difficult life would get…it’s amazing that we are blessed with the capacity to keep enduring it all. I feel for you and your family! You are in our prayers and know Heavenly Father loves you each!

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  6. Jarem! Made my night seeing you briefly at Brady’s bday party! You are doing amazing! Keep going only 3 more and then you can eat all those cold cravings! Our family loves you and yours!❤

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  7. I finally had a chance tonight to sit down and read your posts. I think about you and your family often. You really are in our prayers everyday. I can only imagine how hard it really is, but thank you for your uplifting thoughts and words of inspiration. It always amazes me the different insight people have when experiencing a life changing trial. Your positive attitude and gratitude is truly inspiring. I pray it will take a turn for the better soon. Until then, know that you guys are loved.

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